The Treize of Oz, A Wizard Of Oz Parody
by ChibiMeikoChan
Summary: Wufei ends up in my version of the Wizard of Oz; Chapter 2 POSTED!!!
1. Default Chapter

Hello all! Just me writing another story. This has probably been done before, but I don't care! This is my own twist on it! Have fun!

  
  


'Thought'

"Speech"

~*~

  
  


"Wufei!" came Quatre's cry. His image was broken up by static and occasionally, his voice blanked out as well. "There's a...hurry and get....Wufei!" The blond clicked out and started to move towards the safe house, as the young Chinese stood confused. _'What the hell?' _he thought, and shrugged his slim shoulders. _Maybe Quatre is going to go get Trowa or something.'_

  
  


He turned around and glanced around the desert and waited patiently for the Arabian to return, but after five minutes, he was still gone. Sighing, Wufei put away his beam triton and leaned back in the chair of the cockpit. In less than three minutes he was asleep, and only two minutes after that, he was jolted awake by a blast that him on his side...Hard. _'Is it Oz?' _he asked himself, automatically pulling out his flame thrower, already alert and ready. He glanced around the empty desert before him in bewilderment. _"What in the hell?"_ he hissed aloud, when another violent blast almost knocked him over. Grabbing onto his controls in one hand, and typing in various commands on the dash/keyboard. He looked ahead of him and checked all his screens, only to see nothing but sand swirling around him in wild gusts. And that's when it all got bad.

  
  


His entire gundam seemed to lift up from it's standing position it was in, tipping over to the side once more as it was shot at once again, the source revealed to be the sand and wind itself. _'Dammit,' _Wufei cursed silently, failing to overpower the mech. Sighing, he hit the hatch release button; it groaned loudly in protest, but otherwise did not move. 'It must be stuck...some sand probably got in the gears...' the dark-haired pilot reasoned, cursing silently all the while. A quiet moment later, he heard a soft sound; it was laughter that was almost like bells. Slightly annoying bells, but bells nonetheless. His onyx-eyes widened in shock when he saw who was laughing: it was Dorothy Catalonia herself...wearing what appeared to be Bunny Ears, and pink at that.

  
  


She was driving in her hideously bright yellow car, one pale hand out the window; the blond waved her arm and grinned, as if flying through a sandstorm was normal. A harsh rush of the tan particles sent her flying around Wufei and his gundam, and she came around once more, though slightly mussed. Her hair was weaving strange designs in the air, with no set design or pattern. Another abrupt breeze pushed her from the Chinese boy's view, but she did not come around again. Shrugging, Wufei leaned back in his chair and closed his dark eyes, deciding to wait out the storm and then get out.

  
  


As suddenly as he had been lifted out, the teen was put on the ground again; the semi-rough landing jolted him from his half conscious state of mind, and blinking sleepily, Wufei yawned. Half through the small motion, his jaw dropped to the floor. "WHAT IN THE HELL?!?!?" he nearly screamed, a slight squeak entering his voice when he hit a high octave. In front of him there was grass and a town and people and it was all in black and white. Thoroughly confused, Wufei opened the door to his cockpit, though, with some effort, and jumped down. What he saw shocked him: all the people he had seen were all wearing White Fang uniforms, but none seemed to harbor any animosity toward the dark-eyed boy, despite his status as a gundam pilot. Instead, they crowded around him in a large group, oo-ing and ah-ing over the large mech. "What is it?" a very familiar voice asked. Wufei looked at the owner of the voice and almost collapsed in shock: it was that girl always hanging around Duo. What was her name? Helen? Heina? Hilde! That was it! 

  
  


Wufei blinked at her and shook his head. _'If she doesn't know what it is, chances are I'm not in Arabia anymore...' "_It's nothing. Just something that I use..." he said, off trailing slowly. A silence settled over the crowd; they seemed to be contemplating over what the black haired boy said, when suddenly there was a scream. A simultaneous snapping of heads to the left occurred, and the reason behind the scream was uncovered: there was a body under the foot of his Shenlong, and when Wufei saw who it was, he almost jumped for joy! "Hallelujah!" he screamed. "Dorothy is dead!" As soon as the words were yelled, a large whoop of happiness came from the crowd. 

  
  


Hilde was beaming with pure delight, and Wufei took her aside. "What's going on? He whispered, more than just slightly confused. She sent him a bright smile. "Everyone hates Dorothy! She's such a bitch! She was so spoiled! But now she's dead, thanks to you!" Another cheer erupted from the group of people. Though still slightly confused, Wufei nodded and began smiling. It was great knowing he wasn't the only one who hated the girl. 

  
  


"Three cheers for the good stranger!" came a cry, and as soon as it was said, there were hip-hip-hoorays all around, but it was cut short when an impossibly annoying voice started screaming: "Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" All around him people were slapping their hands to the ears, trying to drown out the agitating call. The White Fang people fell to their knees, screaming in pain and terror. Wufei grimaced slightly, and forced himself to stay standing. 

  
  


A car came hauling ass from nowhere and squealed to a stop. A girl with shoulder length blond hair came hopping out of her car wearing a big fluffy dress, with frills and lace and ribbons too. Relena closed the door to her car and looked around for a moment. Sighing, she whipped out a cell phone and dialed a number quickly with her perfectly manicured nails. "Hello?...yes...Haven't you people ever heard of color?!...What?! You little...Hello?!? Hello?!?" The five minute conversation ended, and all Wufei could do was stare at the marshmallow puff. A moment of silence passed, and she started tapping her foot impatiently. 

  
  


Bright, blinding colors filled the screen, and all the puff-ball could say was, "Finally."

  
  


Squinting, Wufei walked toward the blue-eyed girl. "Where the hell am I, Relena?" he asked, not hiding his irritation. She stood blinking for a moment. "You're not following script," she hissed. 'What the hell is this girl talking about?' he wondered, all the while growing more and more irritated. 

  
  


Another bright flash of light...erm...flashed, and there stood Zechs wearing a pink and gold dress. His helmet did not hide the embarrassed blush on his cheeks. "What are you looking at?" He hissed at his blond sister. She shrugged and turned away, while Zechs looked at Wufei. "I give you this kiss to protect you from the evil cream-puff...erm...Relena," he dead panned, removing his silver helmet. Grabbing the Chinese boy by the back of his head, he kissed him full on the lips. A startled cry escaped the smaller teen, but soon it relaxed into soft moans. Zechs' hands trailed to his lower behind, while Wufei pressed himself harder and harder against the blond. This resulted in them both falling down, not that either noticed. A small crowd of White Fangies leaned in, trying to catch a glimpse of this near sex-fest. 

  
  


Relena was turning pale; this was wrong! It was yaoi and boy on boy action! It was wrong! So, she tried to split the two apart. Nudging the two half naked figures, she first she tried to order them to stop, then she started pleading/bargaining. "When will the madness end?!" she cried, and suddenly, it did. 

  
  


They both stood up, and tried desperately to smooth down their wrinkled clothes. "What the...?" Wufei shrugged and said, "Do you think I would dishonor myself by having sex with him right now? That's an injustice!" Zechs patted him on his head, effectively calming him down. "Whatever," Relena retorted and pulled out a pair of bunny ears. "Here, you screwed up the whole scene, so I'm just gonna give these to you and get them back later or something."

  
  


The black-haired teen arched one eyebrow slightly. 'Well, this is certainly odd.' "What am I supposed to do with them?" "You mean you don't know?" the jello wad asked. Wufei shook his head, a blank expression on his face. "You where them, silly!" and the tanned boy felt his jaw drop. "No."

  
  


"What? What do you mean no? You have to wear them." came the reply.

  
  


"No."

  
  


"Yes."

  
  


"No."

  
  


"Yes."

  
  


"NO."

  
  


"YES."

"NO!"

  
  


"YES!"

  
  


Zechs rubbed his temples painfully; he could feel a headache coming on, and it would be a bad one. "Look," he said, interrupting the argument. "You have to wear them in the story. When you go back to wherever, you can do whatever the hell you want with them, but until then," he paused and snatched the ears from the pudding gob's hands and put the on the now glowering Wufei, "WEAR THEM." 

  
  


"Until next time, Wufei!" Relena sang, smug at her small victory. She disappeared in a cloud of smoke and Zechs floated away in a bubble, but only after stealing a kiss from the dark-eyed boy.

  
  


Pouting, the bunny-ear wearing teen started walking toward his gundam, fed up with the day's events. "Hey! Where are you going?!" Hilde called, and grabbed his arm, stopping him mid-step. "To my Gundam where I don't have to wear these ridiculous ears! Do you think I wanted to be here? I didn't ask to come! I was having a relatively nice day at home, but all of a sudden, I'm *wooshed* up in this whole damn mess!" Wufei ranted and raved. 

  
  


"Well," the purple-haired girl drawled out slowly, "there is a way for you to get home, but you have to walk down Rainbow Road and talk to the Treize of Oz." Sighing, the Asian teen resigned himself to his fate. A walk down Rainbow Road to get home, a walk it was. He sighed again and was about to start down the long brightly colored street, when a voice called his name. Turning, he searched for who had called him, and upon seeing who it was, he nearly fainted. "Hey Wufei! Mind if I walk with ya? I dunno, this White Fang city is getting kinda old..." chirped the incessantly bright voice. The purple eyed boy smiled and waved his hand in front of Wufei's face. "Hello?!? Come on, You remember me, dontcha? It's me! Duo!"


	2. Chapter 2

More madness!!!

  
  


I own Neither GW or the WoO

  
  


~*~

  
  


"Hello?! Uh, Wufei?! Hello?!?!" the purple eyed boy waved his hands in front of the Asian boys face frantically coming close to hitting him. Wufei shook himself out of his trance and grabbed both of Duo's waving arms in one tanned hand. "Would you stop that?!" he growled angrily and yanked the pale arms downward. "Jeez," Duo complained, sniffing, "I was just worried about you; I mean you're standing there like you're freaking nuts or something, man..." Sighing, the Chinese teen reached out to grab the chestnut braid in order to shut him up. Not really seeing anything very clearly, he caught what seemed fairly similar and yanked, but instead of the smaller boy's head snapping back, as he was so accustomed to, Duo howled painfully and moved his _tail_ away. The confused pilot stared at it, and when he was finally able to find his voice, he yelped, "WHAT IN THE HELL?!?!?"

  
  


Hilde giggled at his reaction and watched with avid interest as Wufei turned the color of Duo's eyes. "Breathe, Wufei," the tailed boy coached softly, "breathe." Doing as he was told, the dark-haired boy huffed, desperately trying get air into his lungs. Finally being able to find enough air, he spoke: "Okay (huff) Duo, (Huff). You are (huff) going to tell me (huff) WHERE-" "In the hell you are..." Duo and Hilde both finished for him, rolling their eyes in annoyance. The still huffing teen glared at them both and waited for the American to answer. When he didn't respond, the still glaring boy reached out blindly for tail or braid, not caring which. Finding the braid, he jerked and with a 'yipe' Duo sat down, tenderly stroking the back of his head; he gave a small whimper and said, "That was unnecessary."

  
  


Not breaking his glare, the dark-eyed teen jabbed one accusatory finger at him, nearly poking the other pilot in the forehead. "What is this place?!" he ground out, his teeth clenched. Duo sighed and tossed his braid aside. He nibbled on his lip. Impatient, the tanned boy opened his mouth to speak, but before he could, he felt someone stoking his rabbit ears. Turning around slowly , he fixed his glare on Hilde who snapped her head in surprise and smiled sheepishly. "Sorry," she apologized weakly and took two steps to the side. 

  
  


When he glanced back at the tailed boy, he nearly choked. Duo had undone his hair, but was tying it all back up using both his hands and his tail, oblivious to the other boy's surprise. A moment later he was done with the braid, his black tail petting the top of his head, looking for any fly-a-ways or lumps in his chestnut hair. Satisfied, he looked back at his friend, and when he received the surprised look, all he could say was, "What?"

Wufei gave a sigh of exasperation and buried his face in his hands. "I just want to know where the hell I am!" he wailed, though slightly muffled due to his hands. A small sympathetic hand was placed on his shoulder and the Asian boy could hear the purple-eyed boy shifting from his sitting position to give him a hug. "It's okay, Wu-man," he reassured softly. Raising his head, he smiled feebly, and stood. "I guess you're not going to tell me where the hell I am, are you?" he asked, a small edge of irritation in his voice. 

  
  


Duo grinned and said, "Nope, you're supposed to figure it out all by yourself! But I am coming with you...I'm gonna ask Treize to make me a human-human, not a cat-human, so you might as well have some company, right?" He hopped up, still smiling. Wufei sighed again. He could feel a headache coming on. 

  
  


~*~

  
  


"So long!" Hilde whooped loudly. Duo was walking backwards blowing all the White Fangs kisses. His companion rubbed his aching temples and with a quick move, grabbed the braid and started pulling away swiftly, while the tailed boy struggled. Once released from his friend's grip, he turned around one last time to wave, then continued to walk with the Asian boy. 

  
  


A silence fell over them as they trudged along, each lost in their own thoughts. Finally, however, the purple-eyed teen broke the silence. "So... uh,... where are you from? I know where I'm from, but I don't know where you're from, but I know you. I mean, I know you, I don't know how, but I know I know you." 

  
  


Wufei gave a sidelong glance at his rambling friend and shrugged. "Where I come from there are-" Suddenly, a very familiar voice filled the surrounding area and cut the teen off, mid-sentence: "The year was AC 195..." Groaning, the tanned boy grabbed Duo and ran as fast as he could away from the booming voice of the narrator. 

  
  


"WHAT'S WRONG?!" Duo practically had to yell over the thunderous voice. "WHAT?!" asked the Chinese teen, his face set in one of deaf confusion. "WHAT?" the cat-boy hollered in response. "I CAN'T HEAR YOU!" the dark-haired pilot screamed, pointing to his ears. "NO YOUR EARS DON'T LOOK FAT!" came the reply. Blinking, Wufei stared at Duo, and he stared back. Shrugging, they continued, the voice soon fading away.

  
  


After walking along the Rainbow Road for seven miles, Duo started getting tired. He was sleepy and his feet hurt and he didn't even get a catnap! "Come on," Wufei persuaded, his voice lined with a bit of tiredness. "It's not that far, I mean, Look! You can see the Rose Castle where the Trieze of Oz is." The chestnut haired teen pouted and replied, "It looks like a sand castle from here! Hell, it looks like a freakin' _little_ sand castle!" Sighing, the Chinese boy had to agree. "Fine. Let's sit over there; there's shade over by that tree." The American boy nodded enthusiastically and skipped over to the large tree, ready for a nap. 

  
  


Before he could even close his eyes, however, Duo felt like he was being watched, but not in a bad way. Grinning to himself, he thought about shifting to lie in the most provocative position he could think of. Unfortunately, the best thing that came to mind was curling up like a cat. _'No good,'_ he thought sullenly and shrugged. "Whatever. I'm tired anyway." His companion lifted an eyebrow in surprise. "What? Were you talking to me?" The teen shook his head quickly, a small flush of embarrassment growing on his cheeks. Duo closed his amethyst eyes and let sleep come to him.

  
  


Wufei, however, was not that fortunate. There was something watching him, he felt, but what it was indeterminable. The Asian boy waited for a moment, and when nothing happened, he closed his eyes...only to hear rustling. "Fuck," he heard a _very_ familiar voice cursed and when he opened his black eyes, he was speechless. It was Heero Yuy, wearing his traditional black spandex and tank top, looking more disgruntled than usual. "Heero?!" Wufei yelped in surprise. 

  
  


Heero glared at his friend and did a very shocking thing: he reached into his shorts quickly, and when his hand reappeared, it was holding a handful of straw. "Dammit!" he cursed again, dropping the golden pieces of straw. Unknown to either, Duo had roused and was looking very surprised. "Heero!" he exclaimed and ran towards his koi. The Japanese boy stumbled back a step when his boyfriend glomped him, but managed to stay standing. He lifted Duo and Kissed him. "Hi, koi," he whispered and planted another kiss on the braided boy. 

  
  


A moment of silence passed and after that, another (An: Sorry, couldn't help it). Wufei stared quietly before simply saying (quite loudly): "WHAT IN THE HELL?!?!"

  
  


~*~

To be continued...?

  
  


Hehehe...I guess you've figured out who Heero is, eh? The ScareCrow! Except he has Straw down his pants (kinky).


End file.
